Altered States of Consciousness

My mind don't know what it wants

It still constantly hunts

For something I'm not a failure at

All of my skills are useless

Still I abuse this

Nonconformity is where I'm comfortable at 

I can't make anyone happy

And I'm not trying to sound sappy

I just don't know what to do

It's hard for me to find pleasure

Still searching for that buried treasure

But I have no map to show me through

Altered states of consciousness and depraved thoughts comfort me

Through distorted vision and pipe dreams, I prefer to see

Constantly wondering what I could be

Is this really reality or just insanity?

I despise most people, but still feel the need to help

Sometimes wishing i was someone else

None of us ever reach perfection

My brain often fluctuates

Between compassion and hate

Like I have some kind of fucking infection

Is there a difference between demons and angels?

The ones who help and the ones who mangle

Or is it a matter of current mood?

I feel both inside my soul

Do I even have a soul?

Or do I have an attitude?

Altered states of consciousness, do the help or do they hurt?

Would I be better six feet under the dirt?

Is there a way to invert?

The confusion I wear blatantly on my spiritual shirt