Eyes of Mental Illness

Looking through the eyes of mental illness
Who will I be today
What am I supposed to feel
Is it night or day
Are the things I'm feeling today real
Or is it the medication
Am I really as sick as they say
Or is it one of their fabrications
Am I happy or am I sad
Am I angry or am I depressed
Do I have my shit together
Or am I a fucking mess
Does it matter anymore
Or is it life or death
Is anyone really there for me
Or am I all that's left

If this is a gift, I damn sure don't wanna lose it
Even if at times I tend to abuse it
If this is a curse, do I really deserve it
If it is, what did I do to deserve it

These eyes of mental illness
Are they just an illusion
Are they true reality
This shit is damn confusing
Stress over the little things
Screws up my whole mind
When it comes to big issues
My mind suddenly goes blind
How much will I drink today
What drugs will I take
Sometimes it's the only way
To keep my mind in line for other's sake
Do I keep the gift or curse
For my sanity's sake
Or do I try to kill it off
And finally get a break