Never Fade

There are so many things I should have said to so many
Now many of them, I don't have a choice
So many things I should have done
Now I have trouble finding actions or a voice
It seems I'm on a one way path to Hell
But does this road have a fork?
And if I choose correctly
Should I pop the champagne cork?
Is the yellow brick road the right way to go?
Or should I take the left route
That leads down below?
I do like the heat much more than the cold
I'd rather be myself than be sold
I wonder if the others wish there was anything I was told
Like I'm under a spell

I miss people dead and alive who are always on my mind
I wonder if they miss me too now that I'm so far behind
Maybe I have changed, maybe I have stayed the same
Either way, neither one of us is to blame.

I have morbid fascinations
But, I'm still a philanthropist
I may still be a little insane
But regret opportunities I have missed
What if? How come? Why the fuck not?
Fill my brain and keep me from sleeping
Laying here awake at night
With painful thoughts constantly seeping.
Insomnia or insanity?
Or just wishful thinking
Regrets of lessons?
Or reality sinking

I miss memories dead or alive that are always on my mind
I wonder if I'll ever catch them now that I'm so far behind
Maybe I'm the same and haven't changed at all
Maybe I'm to blame, I'm the one who chose to fall